Review of “Tales of the Shire”

Dang, where do I even start? Okay, so you know how Hobbits are like the coziness kings, right? Neat homes, tasty meals, and all that jazz. Well, “Tales of the Shire: A Lord of the Rings Game” — whew, what a name, huh? — seems to grab the right ingredients. But somehow, it ends up like when you forget the baking soda in cookies. Kinda flat.

So, here’s the thing: this game’s tucked between “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings,” with Gandalf dropping by for a chat. You make your lil’ hobbit and dive into Bywater, this quaint spot wanting to be an official part of Hobbiton. Cool setup, right? But then you’re mostly hopping around, talking to folks, trying not to get lost in its maze-like vibe. The writing’s charming, gotta give it that.

Now, cooking. Oh, the cooking! It’s like the Holy Grail of this game — planting gardens, finding plants, all to whip up meals. It sounds fun, like it really gets the hobbit lifestyle. Except it’s just too simple. Every quest leads to hosting a dinner, and it’s the same old scene where they love your food. Like, okay, but can we spice it up?

You run on a day cycle, ticking off tasks like farming and chatting. But sometimes you just end up with nothing to do and wait, which is kinda lame. I mean, I was fishing just to kill time. Real thrilling.

Played it on the Nintendo Switch and gosh, graphics aren’t terrible but not eye candy either. Something weird about the hobbits’ faces, though. Plus, the game’s always crashing. On Switch 1? Frame drops all over. Switch 2’s not much better either. And there was this one time, the sky turned red — yep, just red. Spooky.

So, in a nutshell, it’s like they’ve sketched out a cool game but never filled in the colors. Stability issues make you wanna pull your hair out. I want to cheer for it, I swear, but it keeps tripping over its own feet. Maybe one day it’ll hit its stride, but not today, folks. Not today.