Microsoft Plans to Offset AI Emissions by Burying Human Waste

Alright, so, here we go. Imagine you’re sitting with your favorite cup of coffee, and I just start rambling out loud about this crazy world of tech giants and AI. Buckle up, ’cause it might get a bit bumpy.

Okay, so Microsoft, right? They’re like, foot on the gas, just going all out with this AI stuff. Seriously, it feels like they’re not even touching the brakes. They pumped a ton of cash into OpenAI—mind you, that’s the folks behind ChatGPT—you know the one that everyone can’t stop buzzing about? Yeah, them.

But here’s a twist: those two were like best buddies, tech bros if you will, until things got, well, a bit awkward. It’s all about money—because when isn’t it?—and Microsoft’s noooot super excited about the way OpenAI wants to make their stack of cash even taller. So, they’re playing this weird game of business chess or whatever. Rumors are flying that Microsoft might just walk away from the negotiation table, cool as a cucumber, leaving OpenAI to maybe sulk or who knows, raise a legal eyebrow about some antitrust jazz.

Oh, and get this—there’s talk of OpenAI thinking of announcing something called AGI. It sounds all sci-fi, right? It basically means machines might think as well as humans. Supposedly, it’s their big “we’re done with you” card for Microsoft if things don’t improve by 2030. Meanwhile, Microsoft’s like, plotting their own AI escape plan, playing with their own models and trying out new toys in Copilot. A bit of a break-up drama, I guess.

And let’s talk carbon emissions. Yawn But necessary! AI is apparently super energy-hungry, and Microsoft’s doing this dance between innovation and, um, our planet. They’ve struck some deal with a company, Vaulted Deep or something, and the idea is to magically send carbon emissions underground. It feels sort of like wishful thinking but hey, tech magic, right? This deal’s supposed to suck up a good chunk of nasty emissions over the years, like shoving waste into these ridiculously deep salt caverns. Who knew that was a thing?

This whole thing could probably cost a small fortune. We’re talking rough estimates, but these folks are quick to say, "Nah, it’s not what it looks like!" So, maybe it’s less costly than everyone’s guessing.

And just as Microsoft’s trying to green up, they’ve got some catching up to do. AI loves energy too much—it’s like a never-ending buffet. Microsoft’s carbon numbers kinda shot through the ceiling—168% up, anyone? Their prez, Brad Smith, came out, all like, “We’re in it for the long haul,” which sounds about right. It’s a marathon, folks, not a sprint. They’re eyeing 2030 as the finish line for getting carbon negative.

Anyway, I guess we’ll see where they land. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t. Who’s keeping score?